getting there…

..the huge project is coming together nicely. In the last few days it seems to have really started to click together, it’s great when that happens.

Someone at church today said they had read my site and felt they ‘knew more about me … was that a good thing?’ It made me think for a while about why I do this, why I write here and whether I do actually care about the impressions the people I meet day to day might get from it.

The conclusion I came to, is that I don’t care at all. I’ve never been one to really concern myself about what other people think of me. There are a few people whom I would hate to let down or upset by something I had done, but those people know what I am anyway, and they still stick around, so I probably couldn’t do anything to shock them by now.

I’m not a ‘people person’. I can take or leave the company of others, and probably come across as strange and standoffish because of that. I make more of an effort these days because of the Small Person, because she might want to have that social interaction that I avoid, and right now she needs me to help make that possible for her. For me though, most of the time I remain happy with the one or two people I ‘click’ with, those people with whom I don’t need to pretend, and if for a time I am alone. That’s ok too, I have learned to my cost that trying to force myself to conform in order to be liked does not make me happy.

So to those who know me ‘in real life’, read on … let me know you read my ramblings if you like, or don’t. Keep a wide berth, or understand a little more about why I don’t actively seek out people to meet for coffee, attend every social event or surround myself by a gaggle of aquaintances.

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